Monday, February 16, 2009

A Fool and His Money

Well its just come down the pipe at the BBC that Tony Blair has won the $1,000,000 Dan David prize for his contribution to social welfare marking Tony's "foresight, exceptional intelligence and steadfast determination"

Praising his role in the Northern Ireland's peace process and his "steadfast determination and morally courageous leadership" over Kosovo Mr. Blair's is hailed on the Dan David laureate' website as one of the most outstanding statesman of our era.

Unfortunately the Dan David laureate website failed to mention that Tony Blair was George Bush's right hand man when the two cohorts launched an unprovoked attack on an independent sovereign nation that cost Great Britain 178 war casualties and billions of dollars of taxpayers money not to mention the tens of thousands of Iraqi civilian casualties. The website also failed to notice that Tony's war on Climate Change has left Great Britain not only bankrupt, but with rotating blackouts as the race to meet the conditions of the Kyoto protocol, trumped any secondary consideration like keeping the economy going.

But that was probably just an oversight on the Dan David's awards selection committee.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

California's Budget has Been Terminated

Arnold Schwarzenegger has had some tough acting roles in his life, but probably his most difficult character he ever has had to portray has been "Fiscally Responsible Administrator" in the never ending movie "Governor of California". Despite efforts by the California State Legislature to help Arnie understand that being Governor is a reality show and not a science fiction movie, it seems that his obsession of becoming carbon neutral through the development of alternative energy programs at the expense of just about everything else that the state oversees is a situation that even a cyborg assassin cannot blast himself out.

According to Mark Paul, the former deputy treasurer of California, and now deputy editorial page editor at the Sacramento Bee newspaper, the state is "headed to a financial Armageddon" So dire is the California balance sheet that in order to make up the 19 billion dollar deficit by tax cuts alone, the state would have to close its entire public university system, end welfare payments, and eliminate all sate funding for the developmentally disabled, for mental health and all in- home supportive services.

But there is a method to Arnie's madness. He acutely aware that carbon dioxide production is directly linked to both gross domestic product and population. As both of demographics these wither away to nothing, he'll be able to phone up the IPCC boys and tell them "I was the first American state to reduce our carbon dioxide emissions to 1990 levels" Unfortunately he have to tell the people of California that he also reduce the economic prosperity and population levels to 1990 levels.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Meeting the Coditions of Kyoto

At this party, its just one big surprise after another. I am, of course talking about the global recession party, and not only is everyone is invited, but everyone is participating as well, a fact that will not go unnoticed by organizers of the Kyoto protocol. Nothing is worse than the Kyoto boys throwing a bash, receiving more than 165 RSVP's, but only having 22 joining in on the fun.

Some of the notable countries to attend the global recession gala event include Iceland and Russia. Iceland is of course recognized as the Kyoto's 55th country signatory country. So devoted to reducing their carbon footprint and realizing that economic growth is directly tied to carbon production, they recently decided to devalue the Icelandic Krona by two thirds, nationalized their three largest commercial banks, and decreased their industrial productivity from 4th highest on the planet to that of a third world country. They, however, saved themselves from getting into real trouble by maintaining a fleet of whaling vessels despite the international ban on commercial whaling. In fact Icelanders cheer themselves up by saying to one another "As bad as it is, at least we are not being harpooned and being ground up into dogfood."

While Russia's signing of the Kyoto protocol was as important as Iceland's, (Their signing pushed the total carbon production of signatory countries over the 55% of global emissions) their path to reducing their carbon footprint required some innovative thinking. Even though the collapse of the former Soviet Union in 1991 reduced their industrial output and corresponding carbon emissions to levels 40% below their 1990 levels in their first year, and by November 2004 when they actually ratified Kyoto that they never had a hope in hell of even reaching their 1990 levels by the time Kyoto was to expired in 2012, Russia, being the responsible global citizens that they are, decided that they must do more to save the world from a fiery death. So they ramped up biofuel production. Unfortunately, the plan failed to work because Russian officials neglected to indicate on the ethanol barrels that this liquid was not intended for human consumption.

Following the lead of these two administrations, the entire world has joined together to fight climate change by reducing industrial capacity. Even the United States has joined in by increasing unemployment to over 7% to prevent global warming. Laugh if you want, but they are Americans are driving 10% less than last year. At this rate of fuel reduction, when unemployment reaches 60%, driving in the United States will be completely eliminated, and carbon emissions will be reduced enough to for U.S. for to meet conditions of the Kyoto protocol!!

Friday, January 16, 2009

I Was Just Kidding About Eastern Bastards Freezing in the Dark

I saw the footage from the CN tower on tv this evening, that showed more than a neighbourhood or two completely blacked out. Included to the blackout was a portion of the famous TTC subway system, that unfortunately just cannot run without electricity. To make matters worse it all happened on one of the coldest days of the year.

Forgive me for saying that the eastern bastards should freeze in the dark in a previous posting. Its not like I was praying for that to happen or anything, it just that sometimes crap hits the fan. In fact I know what its like to lose power in a cold spell, fortunately for me out here on the ranch, I always make sure that theres a plan B and plan C in place so that the pipes and my rear end don't split in the cold.

The point that I am trying to make is that the misery level tends to be inversly proportional to the thermometer reading in Canada in both the summer and winter, but especially in the winter. While one cold snap does not prove that global warming is over, it does make one wonder, who in Canada, besides David Suzuki who would ever want to reverse the global warming process.

Maybe we should poll Dr. Suzuki's neighbours in lotus land now that both Vancouver and Victoria experienced their most brutal winter in decades. The question would read "If you knew that David Suzuki was single handedly responsible for reversing global warming that caused this snow, would you kick his ass?"

Maybe the answer is for every one in the lower B.C. mainland is to save a freezer full of snow in case there is a shortage for the 2010 olympics!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Finding Climate Change In Iraq

So now we have officially past the five year mark of the Iraq War, no doubt celebrated in Baghdad with with a big cake, lots of ice cream and many presents from countries far and wide.

Apparently George "I Am In Denial" Bush still thinks that it was a great idea to launch an illegal attack sovereign country on false pretenses, suggesting that "the world is a safer place since the 2003 invasion". George's views have been supported by his biggest cheerleader and Vice President Dick "Don't stand in front of my shotgun" Cheney who acknowledged "the phenomenal improvement in security".

Another milestone has been the 4000th American fatality in the Iraq conflict. But some checkpoints that will never be revealed is the monetary cost to the American economy and the civilian cost to the Iraqi people.

Funny how the best of intentions can end so tragically when the original premise was based on a pack of lies. If you don't believe me then just ask Ted Haggard or Eliot Spitzer.

In the Iraq war, the lies were about weapons of mass destruction and Iraq's link to al Qaeda and the futile attempt by the United States to eradicate problems that didn't exist, at enormous expense of money and lives. The only thing the Iraq war proved, is how easily large groups of supposedly intelligent people can be duped into supporting the most outrageous and
illogical actions imaginable.

The global warming fraud is no different. Climate change has been a part of the earth's landscape for 4.5 billion years. The last episode of global warming has been happening continuously for the last 18,000 years accompanied in lockstep with 120 metres of sea level rise.

Alarmists in the climate change issue, like the Americans in the Iraqi war are trying to solve a problem that isn't there. The climate change outcome to is inevitable, trillions of dollars and hundreds of thousands of lives wasted until common sense prevails. It too bad that George Bush couldn't have added climate change in Iraq as an an excuse for regime change, that way all the unsolvable problems could have be eliminated in one felled swoop.

Monday, March 17, 2008

The Blair Witch Project

So Tony Blair is off to Japan on yet another witch hunt.

He said there was a "consensus" that a deal had to be reached - with a 50% cut in carbon emissions needed by 2050.

In a broadcast on his personal website, he said: "At the big G8 summit of last year everybody agreed that climate change is a serious problem, everybody agreed we need a new global deal once the Kyoto Protocol expires in 2012.

The last time that Tony got this excited is when he was duped by another presidential hopeful - George Bush - who convinced him that Iraq had weapons of mass destruction and that Saddam Hussein was in cahoots with al-Qaeda. To avoid peeing his pants with excitement, he mustered thousands of British soldiers at the cost of millions of dollars per year and ordered them to fight the good fight.

Unfortunately the good fight was based on a pack of lies that cost Tony Blair his job, not to mention the lives of 175 British soldiers. After five years of fighting the "Mid East Vietnam" the only thing that the British have gained was that the realization that the weapons of mass destruction and the al-Qaeda link were nothing more than political ploy to lure the unwitting Blair to his own demise.

Now as an encore, Tony is tilting at yet another windmill in a vain hope that he will ultimately be forgiven for his mistake in Iraq.

Always one for jumping on the bandwagon as opposed to examining the facts in a given situation, Ex prime minister Blair will undoubtedly achieve the same success and admiration from the English people for stopping the progression of climate change in the world as he did for stopping the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Let the Easterners Freeze in the Dark!

Another weekend; another dump of snow in Eastern Canada. With cities like Toronto, Montreal, and Ottawa all closing in seasonal records for snowfall it looks like global warming has headed south for the winter.

What's funny is remembering the "Cold is Cool" banners that the environmentalists were waving when the international climate change conference was being held in Montreal in 2005. Apparently the conference delegates got together afterwards in closed door meetings with everybody exclaiming "Who the hell picked to have a climate change conference in Montreal in December". Apparently conference organizers, under the threat of water boarding were able to pacify the crowd by saying "We'll make it up to you guys by holding the next conference in Bali!"

What I can't understand, is why anybody in Canada would be against global warming.

As surprising as it seems, if a person goes back 18,000 thousand years or so, the climate of every major city in Canada was exactly the same; minus 2 and under thousands of feet of ice. Since then climate change has not progressed evenly across all areas of Canada. The southern tip of Vancouver Island has warmed much faster than any other location in the dominion.

By using the plant hardiness zone (PHZ) designations as criteria for differential warming, we can evaluate the geneses of climate change across Canada. The PHZ's were developed by Agriculture Canada to quantify which crops could grow where. The PHZ's range from 0 to 9 with zone 0 designating the the harshest climate and zone 9 the mildest. Winter temperatures in zone 0 can dip below -45 while zone 9 climates rarely dip below freezing. Generally speaking, the colder the climate the less variety of plants and trees will be able to survive. Up here at the ranch we are zone 2 and can grow about 100 different trees and shrubs, in Victoria, which is a zone 8 they can grow over 1800.

Vancouver was rated as the best to live in Canada based solely on its more favorable climate. Coincidentally David Suzuki who already has a house in Vancouver is dead set against anyone else in Canada from enjoying the same warm weather as he does

The fruit producing regions of Canada including B.C.'s Okanogan Valley, the Niagara Peninsula in Ontario, and The Annapolis Valley in Nova Scotia all have PHZ's of 5/6. As the global warming continues, the PHZ's will all move northwards approximately 120 kilometers for every 1 degree increase in temperature, and voila in a few short centuries, every province will have its very own fruit producing region, and what is so wrong with that.